DAY 05: THE TIME YOU THOUGHT ABOUT ENDING YOUR LIFE

grabe naman ang dapat kong pag-isipan sa araw na ito.. the time i thought about ending my life.

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko pa naman iyon naiisip. Hindi ko naman sinasabi na masayang-masaya ang aking buhay, normal lang din naman. May mga times na malungkot ako, magagalitin, mainisin pero hindi ko naisip na magpakamatay sa kahit anung paraan like paglalaslas, pagbibigti, pagtalon sa building, pagpapasagasa sa motor, paghiwa ng vena cava ko or pagsaksak sa sarili. 

Sabi ng boss ko sa akin, may maganda daw akong support system and sa nakikita daw niya, hindi daw ako prone sa depression. Sa aking palagay kasi, yung mga na-totally depressed people and mahilig magpakamatay, sila yun mga nawalan na ng pag-asa sa buhay, yung feeling nila, wala na silang silbi or dahil may nagawa silang isang bagay na hindi nila alam kung paano masosolusyunan. Pero kung iisipin mo, sila yung mga tao na dapat dinadamayan natin, para maramdaman nila na mas masarap mabuhay, mahirap man, at least alam natin na buhay tayo kasi pag patay na tayo, hindi mo naman talaga alam kung magiging kaluluwa tayo or parang blank na lang ba ang thoughts natin? hindi ko rin alam kasi never ko pa naman na - experience ang ma-dead. hihihi..

at sana naman, huwag dumating sa buhay ko na gustuhin kong tapusin ang aking makulay na buhay. Pero, pero, pero... YEYS!! Pero kung dumating man yun, sana maging matapang ako at ma-rationalize ko na tama ang gagawin kong yun. 

DAY 04 : YOUR VIEWS ON RELIGION

I respect every religion existing.

Each has their own beliefs.

Each has their own principle.


for whatever it is,

i would not be agaisnt it,

as long as it does not harm other people

with the religion different from theirs.

DAY 03 : YOUR VIEWS ON DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

nothing much for me to say but those two are connected. like the use of one leads to the use of the other. Drinking / Taking alcohol generates (sometimes) addiction, termed as alcoholism. An ample quantity of the alcohol increases as our body gets the hang of it. It increases because our brain tells us so, that we're no longer satisfied with the initial volume we're drinking.

How can alcohol be related to drugs? They say that like smoking, alcohol is a gateway substance to drug addiction. Addiction in the sense of abuse and in the sense that we're detrimental to other people as well to ourselves.

Me, I drink, I do that, but I always take into consideration the effects, so tama lang i guess and reminder: Drink Moderately!

Me, i dont do drugs and never will I since me, with my co-workers advocate substance abuse prevention and treatment.

**browsing over this website can be helpful

DAY 02 : WHERE YOU'D LIKE TO BE IN 10 YEARS

Where, where, where??

10 years from now, i would be 34 years old and i must admit, it's difficult to think where I want to be. But with the turtle-like efforts RS and I are doing, I want to see myself and RS already out of this country, working and earning much for our living where at the same time, achieved security, stability and maybe has enough time to see everything that can be seen. May I also include, we already have a son/daughter? hihihi

However, i must also look into the what if, like, what if we didn't get the chance to get out of the country?? Well, I want to be here, still in our office, as a public servant with a permanent position / item, compensated fairly and an asset to my current agency. This is not about me being pessimistic but just accounting reality in.

They say everything is possible as long as you'll work hard for it, but the problem is, I can be such a lazy person and I hate it. I know that to achieve something, I must exert every effort possible.

So, to see myself being outside of this country and/or being still here in the office are the only two places I want to be in 10 years (and the only things that I can think of, as of now) but it wouldn't hurt me I guess, if I'll be seeing myself in a different place aside from that of mentioned above. Maybe it's where fate wants me to be at. Besides, I don't dream big, just enough to sustain myself, my loved ones and my family. But who knows, the way I dream might change one day.



**Hoping that in 10 years, I would be able to see this entry and make another entry entitled "Me: 10 years after"

^_^

DAY 01 : YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP

I am not single and uberly happy with my domesticated parter RS. 

I think almost everyone here knows RS, kung si Adonis nga kilala niyo e si RS pa kaya. We've been partners for almost 2 years and 5 months. I moved in to his place last year with his family. Our relationship has been open in my family's part but not on his part, I dont know why, kebs na lang kasi mas mahirap pag magulang ang nagtatanong, mejo nakakatakot kaya yun. hihihi..

Through this, I am thanking my partner, RS, for the following reasons:

- for being supportive in all the things I do
- for the care shown to my family specially to my mudak
- for the hugs given every night
- for the goodbye kisses every morning before he goes out for work
- for understanding my deficiencies, lapses and ignorance
- for forgiving my insensitivity at times
- for loving me so much
- for including me in your dreams

wabshumuch  ^_^