Mid-morning, we all convened to talk of something important. Yes, we know what's the topic but the what we don't know is its gravity, on how it can affect us.
To give you a background, our office are divided into 2, a technical and an administrative group where I belong. The talking goes on until we're told that a number of people will no longer be retained. An evaluation will be done for each one of us and will know it not until the end of the month.
I don't know on how will I react, all of the people here has this "okay'reaction" face so I just tend to smile and continued writing for documentation purposes.
After hearing so, I was very uneasy, tried to smile and not to exhbit a sad face.
At the back of my mind, I feel like I should not be worried if I do know I am an efficient employee thus giving out a commendable performance but I somehow feel for those people that I know, few weeks from now, will no longer be around. Though some of them really doesn't need the job, but how about the others. Some of them might really have the plan to leave, but how about those who wants to stay (like me).
After having lunch and talking the meeting over and over with my co-workers, I found them normal, are they just hiding their real feeling or they really just don't care or they really just feel that they can pass through the evaluation. So I said to myself, if they seem not to be bothered about it, why would I be?
As a game plan for the day of evaluation, I need to get back to my old self, someone who can say all the impressive things about what he does with total honesty of course and someone who's always eager to discover new things for the benefit of his own individuality as well as for his company.
Subconsciously, I am now telling myself that this will pass and I'll see myself still here at the office, same chair, same desk, same desktop PC next year 2011.
Someone said that I should somehow get over this "emo" side of mine. Sorry but I can't help it. Let me just say that it eases the anxiety/fear I have but nonetheless, I am okay and I'll always be okay.
And oh, uber thanks!
this is my 69th post, ganda pa man din ng number tapos ito pa ung entry ko..
haaayz.. bawi na lang ako sa susunod.. hehehe